How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie

Non-Fiction, Business, Personal Development

It is clear from the beginning of this book that Mr. Carnegie and his assistants put a lot of thought and research into these ever so helpful chapters. Even the introduction gives helpful tips on how to best retain the knowledge garnered from the pages to follow.

Each chapter teaches a principle. One chapter is completely dedicated to the very simple idea that complimenting people (sincerely) can encourage them to do well, or do better than they had been. Mr. Carnegie reiterates the points of the chapter many times to drive them home to the reader. The reiteration is a tool he uses for the benefit of the reader’s retention. This tool is used in every chapter. For some readers this may seem exhausting and unnecessary. However, repetition has been proven to assist with memory functions.

When it comes to books that deal with personal growth I can only review them from a personal standpoint. I enjoyed the repetitions and reiterations in the chapters. I wanted the lessons to stick with me because the lessons in the chapters are worth remembering. I wrote a few down (partially for this review but mostly because writing things down also helps us remember them) and I’d like to share some of them with you now.

• Bait the hook to suit the fish

  • We often think of what we want, but we have to alter our way of thinking to know what others want. In a trade, both parties need to feel they’ve won

• Become genuinely interested in other people

  • We are usually interested in others when they are interested in us

• Make a real effort to remember people’s names

  • This is a big one for me. I’m great with faces, bad with names. But people often feel dis-respected or insulted when their name is forgotten so I’m making an effort to remember people’s names

• Being a good conversationalist is more about listening than talking

  • Just because someone complains, it doesn’t mean they want advice

• The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

  • Don’t tell other people when they’re wrong, but tell them when you are

• Success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpoint

  • No matter how far separated your viewpoint from another’s, if you can find a way to see their side (dispassionately) you can avoid an argument

I won’t pretend that I read this book and it immediately changed my life, but I did have something to consider during each chapter. Already, just while reading it, I was applying it to situations I was dealing with at the time. Some people will be difficult no matter what you do, but the lessons I learned in these pages help me to put it into perspective, to see the other person’s viewpoint, and to keep being positive to people who have nothing but negativity for you.

At some point I’ll sit down and read it again. I know I didn’t retain it all the first time. But for now just remember, when you need someone to do better and they need a challenge, give them a fine reputation to live up to.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Special Anniversary Edition

Gallery Books